Shadow Work - Vulnerability

Moments after the message: I am uneasy - why? Because it is never safe to express feelings, to share perspectives. I understand what she means now - they hate you. Not just like THAT, for me. Not hate, fear. No one can hold enough space for what I am. Is this what I am, or is it conditioning that I need to release? It makes me feel so vulnerable, and I am afraid of being seen totally. If people see me deeply and reject, it stings. Can anyone hold space for me as I heal all of this? This must be what holding space truly is... to hold the good, the bad, and the ugly and to allow someone to move through what they need to without expectation, judgment or fear. Okay, is that the lesson? I am the space holder, after all. I give what I never receive? Is it safe for me to give space to just anyone? Okay, yes, boundaries are important. Is this the lesson? No, there's more, go back to the beginning. Vulnerability of being seen... Why? Because of my mother. She didn't hold the space for me. She rejected my feelings as a baby, yes, I see this now. My family continued this throughout childhood. In my family, I was not safe to express feelings, share perspectives. I see this now. How do I heal this without finding someone who can hold this space for me? Can I heal this on my own? No. Can I hold my own space? No. It needs to be with someone who will allow me to be me. Well, that's a challenge.