Scrolling

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Every night, I scroll through names. 
Looking for someone I can share with. 
I am just a burden. 
But this pain is constant. 
One thing after another piles on top. 
I feel absolutely panicked. 
Desperately looking for a way to stop feeling like this. 
Desperately looking for someone I can connect with. 
But there is no one.
Eventually, everyone gets sick of hearing it. 
I can't blame them for that. 
I can't ask anyone to care about my pain all the time. 
It's not fair to them. 
No one needs to experience me like this. 
It hurts to be alone. 
It hurts to not have support. 
It hurts that my family doesn't reach out to me to make sure I'm okay. 
It hurts that I've lost my friends and that I have to see them online playing games together knowing I can't join.
It hurts that I have put so much work into my company, and it's been essentially pointless. 
It makes me sad the past is gone. 
I have no idea what I want with my future. 
I have no idea what the point is for anything I do anymore. 
Nothing amounts to anything. 
No one can understand what I'm going through right now. 
Not a single person that I know.
I'm quite lonely. 




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