Paralyzing Void

I feel more empty with each passing day, and I don't even know if I can cry about it anymore. It is just... paralyzing. I am going through the worst time in my life, and I feel more alone than ever before. 

I have started to paint and I understand why so many depressed people are also artists. When you have no one to share how you feel with, you have to express yourself in some kind of way. Any kind of way, or else the tightness in your chest might strangle you to death.

I have so much more empathy for people who suffer from long-term depression. I have had my share of depression throughout my lifetime, but nothing of this magnitude. How do they do it for so long? I can't stand the feeling. I absolutely can't do it much longer. But there is really no end in sight, and that is what scares me.

I have no direction. There is no meaning to my existence anymore. All of my old goals feel lost, impossible. 

I have died. Everything from before is dead.