Stream of Consciousness

There is no escape from the prison I put myself in.

The prison is fear.

Fear of the inevitable end.

So,

Perhaps.

I fear the escape itself.

I fear loss.

I fear losing you.

The more I love you, the more anxiety I feel.

Because one day, you will lose me. 

Or, I will lose you.

I fear connection.

Yet, connection is what makes it all worth it.

I hate the thoughts I have about the past.

I was always proud of my abilities to let go, and adapt.

But, now I feel human.

Like everyone else.

I am.

I can see how things need to change.

I believe that I could make those changes.

Yet, I am.

I do the same thing everyone else does.

We all suck.

We are all beautiful, though.

That is the part of life I love.

Looking at the way it all works.

We are rad. 

I loved the idea of what is.

I hate the idea of what is.

I too, like everyone else...

Wish there was a bigger meaning.

Something epic, and important.

It's nothing.

We are nothing.

Nothing matters.

These words don't mean a damn thing.

Just thoughts of someone who existed for a pin prick in time.

No one will remember any of this.

We observe, and forget.

It is already forgotten.