Laura

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Things may distract me for a while but the thoughts always slip back. Thoughts about my cousin who passed away nearly three months ago. I have been having nightmares about her, and I have become super jumpy when driving because I'm so afraid of getting in an accident. My boyfriend and I actually got in an accident a couple weeks ago and it scared me to no end. It wasn't bad or anything, but it put the fear of god in me. I can't let the people I love feel the way everyone has felt because of Laura passing, especially so soon after. I've decided to get a tattoo in memory of her. I'm not sure what it will be yet. Besides the increased fear of my death and the deaths of people I love, I have actually become an incredibly strong person because of her. I no longer feel stressed over silly little things, and I love and appreciate the good things even more now. So I want that to somehow be incorporated into the tattoo. But anyway, I don't feel like I can talk about any of this with people. Talking about it just makes people uncomfortable. But I feel the need to talk about her all the time. I still feel surprised and horrified whenever I think about what happened. It's so hard to believe. I don't know if I will ever fully comprehend what has happened. 

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