It would be better if you didn't read this.
I feel like everyone is sick of me. Irl friends, interweb friends, family members, Ashley's demonic bird. I don't think I'm destined to be a loner (dotty, a rebel) but that's the way I am lately. Yup, I'm hated by all. I feel like a last resort.
Things that seemed so important to me before don't seem important at all anymore. I'm annoyed about how much I change everyday. I'm not sure if I'm changing for good or bad. I change everyday, yet every day is the same.
Night time isn't a good time for me anymore. I get bored at night. Night is when I start to think about things. I get upset. I want to cry without actually knowing what I am sad about, and I feel like there is no one to talk to about it because I'll come off like an emo loser person fool. I have a way with words, eh?
I swear I'm not from Canada.
My whole life I've hidden my emotions. I like to come off as though nothing is wrong. I've always been very good at it. Something most people don't know is that a year ago I got really depressed and became a bit of a recluse. There's definitely something wrong with me when I don't even talk to Ashley. Last Fall everything got a lot better, and I'm still getting better everyday. I'm a stronger person now than I was before.
I've found out through life that the people who come off as always happy and funny are usually the people who are most depressed. My friend Christine is that way. She is absolutely hilarious, but she's never truly happy. I miss her. Quitting dance has really taken a toll on my friendships.
I went to a wedding shower today, and I couldn't help but think that I'll never have one of those. I've never been one of those girls who thinks about her wedding all of the time and plans every detail when they are 10 years old. In fact, I've never ever thought about my wedding until recently, simply because I don't feel like I'll meet a guy who will accept me for who I am. No guy I have ever really liked has ever returned the feelings, but a whole bunch of my guy friends who I didn't like in that way have liked me. The feeling is never mutual. I'm used to it.
God, I hate when I talk like this. GET OVER IT YOU PATHETIC BABY. Every time after I write a blog I seriously think about deleting it. I only write to get my feelings out, which makes me feel a lot better. But after I am done I'm embarrassed of how dramatic I sound. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I don't matter that much, and I should stop acting like I matter. Wow. That sounded like I think that I don't matter. This Kendall person is slightly insane.
Oh Drake, yow know how to make me happy. You are one of the greatest human beings I have ever come upon. It's people like you that make life worth living. kthxbai.
I am so flipping bipolar!!!!!!!!!!! I don't actually think I am, but one second I'm so upset and the next I'm so happy. I think it has a lot to do with how bored I am. I get all emotional when I am bored. I'm a freak. Actually, I'm just dramatic.
I hope no one reads this insanity.
-Kendall
Things that seemed so important to me before don't seem important at all anymore. I'm annoyed about how much I change everyday. I'm not sure if I'm changing for good or bad. I change everyday, yet every day is the same.
Night time isn't a good time for me anymore. I get bored at night. Night is when I start to think about things. I get upset. I want to cry without actually knowing what I am sad about, and I feel like there is no one to talk to about it because I'll come off like an emo loser person fool. I have a way with words, eh?
I swear I'm not from Canada.
My whole life I've hidden my emotions. I like to come off as though nothing is wrong. I've always been very good at it. Something most people don't know is that a year ago I got really depressed and became a bit of a recluse. There's definitely something wrong with me when I don't even talk to Ashley. Last Fall everything got a lot better, and I'm still getting better everyday. I'm a stronger person now than I was before.
I've found out through life that the people who come off as always happy and funny are usually the people who are most depressed. My friend Christine is that way. She is absolutely hilarious, but she's never truly happy. I miss her. Quitting dance has really taken a toll on my friendships.
I went to a wedding shower today, and I couldn't help but think that I'll never have one of those. I've never been one of those girls who thinks about her wedding all of the time and plans every detail when they are 10 years old. In fact, I've never ever thought about my wedding until recently, simply because I don't feel like I'll meet a guy who will accept me for who I am. No guy I have ever really liked has ever returned the feelings, but a whole bunch of my guy friends who I didn't like in that way have liked me. The feeling is never mutual. I'm used to it.
God, I hate when I talk like this. GET OVER IT YOU PATHETIC BABY. Every time after I write a blog I seriously think about deleting it. I only write to get my feelings out, which makes me feel a lot better. But after I am done I'm embarrassed of how dramatic I sound. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I don't matter that much, and I should stop acting like I matter. Wow. That sounded like I think that I don't matter. This Kendall person is slightly insane.
Oh Drake, yow know how to make me happy. You are one of the greatest human beings I have ever come upon. It's people like you that make life worth living. kthxbai.
I am so flipping bipolar!!!!!!!!!!! I don't actually think I am, but one second I'm so upset and the next I'm so happy. I think it has a lot to do with how bored I am. I get all emotional when I am bored. I'm a freak. Actually, I'm just dramatic.
I hope no one reads this insanity.
-Kendall
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